Homeless.

About a month ago on my way to upper room I parked the car and started walking towards the church. Then I saw her, out of the corner of my eye sitting on the sidewalk holding a cardboard sign "Anything helps." Most of us scurry by as the Pharisees did in the Good Samaritan story. And I write with deep hurt in my heart as I shamefully admit to doing the same. I lifted my gaze from its fixed position on the sidewalk. Many of us don't even acknowledge their presence, as if that unique, beautiful, but broken image of God breathed life wasn't right before our eyes. We nervously, shamefully, awkwardly walk by them daily - as if they don't exist. Better to ignore them
I raised my eyes to meet hers, rose my hands and shrugged.

"I don't have cash."

She looked at me, a bit surprised, and said:
"Thats ok."

Oh, Rachel - she doesn't need your money! I had something much great to give her. Something money cannot buy - Jesus.
I continued sheepishly on my way to church - a heated building with refreshments. (James 2)

Oh, Lord, I am a sad representation of your son! Where is Jesus in me? Many of us look at such as these, the outcast and poorest of our society and say its their own fault - which that may be true. Some are addicts, some are mentally ill (or spiritually oppressed?) but we have the cure! And its that cure that rescued us, reached out and SAVED us from our own self inflicted addictions and faults. Do we see Jesus coming to the prostitute in condemnation? Accusing her of her sin and that is al falls on her own shoulders? To pull herself up by the boot-straps an stop sinning?

Oh my beautiful Jesus - full of compassion.
He was sitting next to this woman. The urge I felt to speak to her was overcome by my human rationalization of why I shouldn't.

"I don't have cash."

The dollar. The universal band-aid. It may only temporarily appease a need. We ask for water and He gives us everlasting water. Jesus is our well of life - and WE have everlasting water. I have everlasting water. Enough to quench the thirst of the whole world.
I am so glad my Jesus doesn't leave me in my sin - or give up on me. That He doesn't disregard me and never try to help because of my addictions, sin, and because "all are they same and relapse" mentality.

No, my Jesus doesn't do that.

He is in every slum, every disease ridden person, every child dying of HIV. Can you hear Him crying out? Asking for someone to tend His sheep? To feed them, clothe them, bind their wounds, and love them?

Are we filled with our Savior's compassion as we daily pass by those in need? Do we quench the Holy Spirit and let our fast-paced, time-is-money, lap of luxury life numb us to the pain so prevalent in our world - on our sidewalk? By our very actions we speak clearly that they don't matter - that we are o˚ and we have enough trivial problems to deal with. I weep at my own selfishness. I am no Christian, no mini Christ - I look nothing like Him.

He touched lepers. No excuses. I must touch them too - even if it is literal. What if I get infected and die? Friends, if my death results in one soul coming to know the love and hope of Jesus - it would be worth every agonizing moment. Isn't that what He has done for us?

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Elliot, martyr.

HE KNOWS

"For I Know the plans I have for you" 

I have always loved that verse. Possibly because before I thought that verse entitled me to safety or happiness. I realize that it doesn't now. But today, it has a new meaning. One I already new but didn't see in this verse. HE KNOWS - not me. HE. GOD. My Lord. My Jesus. My Savior. HE KNOWS. I may not, I do not. I do not understand His ways. Many times I don't understand His plans, but I submit myself to them. And those plans aren't to harm me, although at times they may be painful - they are to prosper - succeed, advance, progress, thrive, make it, flower, get on, do well, flourish, bloom, make good. 

So even though I don't understand. HE KNOWS. I don't - but HE does. My heart aches to return to Chile - but its not time yet. His plans are to make me flourish, to bloom, to THRIVE. He loves me. Oh, that I might learn to love Him and trust Him. I am so glad that HE KNOWS.. May that be enough for me.

Interview.

This is a written interview I did a few months back. I just read it again today, and decided to share it.

 Here are the questions:


 Briefly describe your missions experience (inside or outside of IAM, where, when, how long, including long-term and short term stays).
> Short term missions trip to Chile with Independent Bible Church of Port Angeles, WA for 2 weeks
> 1 year as an intern from summer of 2007- summer 2008 in Santiago, Chile through IberoAmerican Ministries

> 2 year commitment as an IberoAmerican Missionary to Santiago, Chile June 2009 - July 2010

> What are some general reflections on your time(s) as a missionary? (i.e. did you enjoy it, what were some of the highlights, general comments about your time)

> Life as a missionary is the same as the life of any other follower of Jesus. Its full of struggles, dissapointments, and trials - along with victories,joys, and peace. The bride of Christ is the same - loved by Christ but stained by our own sinful nature and humanity. Its not a utopia and its certainly not hell. It is life. It is a journey; a fight alongside our Savior. Its marked by amazing people that God brings along the way to lift us and be His hands and warm embrace. My own life experience and journey that has taken place outside my usual physical context these last three or so years has been amazing. It has been fullfilling. There have been dark days and heartache but those memories pale in comparison of the joys that I experienced in learning more about Jesus and being able to experience the amazing blessings He had in store for me. It wasn't anything I imagined - it was more.

>  How did you prepare yourself for each time you entered the missions field?

> Honestly, with prayer. I did other preparations too - the usual of fundraising and state-side duties. I prayed with people and spent a lot of time getting on my knees. 

> What were some of the greatest challenges you faced?

> The greatest challenge I faced and still face today is myself. Its putting myself back on the altar and sacrificing all to live daily for Christ. I can think of specific things that stand out to me as being hard (i.e. language learning) but really the difficulty of language learning was not being able to express myself or feelings of frustration or inadequacy - which is an internal character problem as I have come to see it now. 

> How did you overcome them, or are they still being worked through?

> I overcame them at the time slowly. They weren't that big of a deal when I put them before Jesus' feet. I am still working through them - because I am continually at battle with my old self. 

>  What were/are some of the highlights or greatest rewards?
> The highlights have been the intimate moments I have experienced with Christ when I have been stripped of all "I" can do and I am in totally naked and utterly dependent on Christ. His love and compassion sweeps me right up - definitely the best reward ever, period. Highlights are praying and sharing with my Chilean brothers and sisters. And getting hugs and seeing smiles from the children I have come to love and serve in Chile. I could write paragraph after paragraph of highlights!

> Have you worked in a secular setting before?
> Yes, I have. I worked three years at a Coffee shop in Port Angeles, and almost a year at a Bistro in a community college. I am now working in a secular setting (*yet another coffee shop!)

>  If yes, how would you compared your time in the secular workplace to your time as a missionary? General differences, things you lost, things you gained, etc...

> I love the feeling of getting specific things accomplished. My personality and cultural background makes life as a missionary hard - because most things do not have an immediate result. I have lost the time I get to invest in deepening relationships - but "gained" a sense of accomplishing something (which may not be good?) I also have contact with a lot of people that are not Christians and am able to start up conversations and relationships with them and share a bit of God's love - more (in terms of numbers of people daily) than when I was in Chile. 

> As of now, how do you missions fitting into your future? What are some (or what would be some) of your concerns for working in missions in the future?

> I see missions in my future - my whole life. Wherever God leads. Whether that be in the United States, Chile, or any where else the Lord may lead. I have desire to return to Chile and plans to do so late this year, Lord willing. My concerns would only be myself -because it is self that is the only real obstacle between me and my obedience to God. 

>What would be some advice you would give to someone who is considering missions work (either in or outside IAM) in the future? Mistakes to avoid? Ways to prepare? Challenges to expect?

> Advice I would give to someone going into missions would be to dig deep. I have found in personal experience that the deepest struggles have root in ourselves. I would tell them to not give up hope and to take time to process situations before the Lord. A mistake to avoid would be griping and complaining - or self pity - I have been there and it only makes things worse. Avoid serving yourself - Jesus, others, and finally you. I would say that the challenges do lie a lot in living in another culture; there are so many things that we don't even realize that are so innate and part of us that become a cultural obstacle. Humility is key. There is a saying in that two IAM leaders always repeat: "Its not better; its not worse; its just different." Its very challenging coming to a place where you are stripped of your comfort zone (family, culture, language, comodities) at first it is generally exciting, but once the novelty wears off self raises its gnarly head. We must confront it and let God take care off all our defects only accentuated by the fires of challenge. 

Joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!!

Doesn't this face make you happy? I've been downloading pictures off of facebook for the last few hours and making a little power point presentation for a missions blurb I am doing tomorrow. It makes me miss them so badly! God has blessed me with an amazing experience and some amazing kids to share life, love and laughter with. I truly am excited for this new journey I will be taking shortly. Its late but I wanted to make a short entry :) Oh, and this is Ignacia by the way. ADORABLE. I miss her so!! 

2 Months!

I cannot believe it’s already been two months here in the US! Time has gone by so fast between family, friends and my job at the coffee house! Its time to jam things into gear to get back to my beloved Chile! My need is great but I have complete faith that God will use His people to supply every need.

First off, I need a prayer team. People I can meet with a few times before I leave and we can pray together. I need people who will be faithful in lifting me up in prayer whenever I shoot out and email. Life gets tough and there are some dark moments and I really feel the need to establish a strong base of people I can count on. Is that you?

I also need people who are willing to finance my ministry and life in Chile. IberoAmerican Ministries requires $1500 a month and I am about a 3^rd of my way there. After three years in the field some of my previous supporters have had to stop giving financially – and now it’s time for new members on the team and recommitments! I have posted a list of needs and my budget on my blog.* Are you that person?

Lastly I need connection makers! I want to share what God is doing in Chile and how you and I can be part of it. If you have friends, acquaintances, a small group or bible study – pretty much anything or anyone that may be interested, please let me know! I am willing and wanting to share. Can you think of anyone? Are you one of my connection makers?

Thank you for taking time to read this. You can obviously meet more than one need if you feel led too! Thank you for already being part of my life; I am blessed to know you. Please prayerfully consider if you are to be involved in this ministry! I know that God has done and WILL DO abundantly more than we can ask or imagine! May God continue to bless you and yours. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  Hebrews 10:23

Seasons

Here in Chile the leaves are brilliant colors and are falling to the ground, signaling that winters lies ahead. I reflect back on God´s faithfulness and goodness. I am certain God is good, and that He never changes, and with hope and joy I look forward to the next season in life. With eyes aglow with anticipation, I expectantly begin this new season with its scents, colors, flavors, joys and tears. 

I take hold of my Father´s hand and together we walk through the door He has opened for these next months and years.

He has been faithful and forever will be. He has brought me to new heights and has seen the dark recesses of my heart. He pulls me up when I am without strength. He is my rock. He is the burning bush, the living God, the Great I am. Now, with confidence I take yet again another step into this life He has planned for me. The life He designed to sharpen, refine, grow, and bless me and so bless the nations through me.

On the 20^th of June I will celebrate my 3 year anniversary of living in Chile! Time has flown by and I have learned so much. I´m glad to say that we´re (Jesus, you, and me!) going to tack a few more years onto my time here. God keeps opening doors to continue working for Him; this time in Southern Chile. There is a project that I will specifically be working with and yes, it involves children, go figure!  I feel joy and peace in returning but this joy doesn´t diminish the sacrifice. I dearly love and miss my family (yes, you too!) in the USA but I am glad knowing that my time in Chile isn´t over yet.  I have my tickets to go to the states. I will fly out of Chile July 12^th and have a return date of November 29^th, 2011. 

I look forward to seeing you all and sharing this new season in more detail at home. Thank you all for your love and support.  See you soon!

P R A Y

I covet your prayers as I seek God´s direction for my life. Many times I feel overwhelmed by the decisions I am confronting. Please join me in praying that God will increase my faith and grow me. That He will specifically guide me in the direction He would have me go. Thankyou.

Dreams

Yenifer, Yesenia, and I in Lautaro, Chile May 2nd, 2011

I want to share a bit of a reflection that I wrote in March after hearing a great sermon about our dreams in life.  Scott Wallace preached about how God gives us dreams and we build those dreams on our faith. That faith in greek means truces, like truces that hold up a bridge. Its firm, what sustains the bridge. He also gave the example of a man rock climbing. . .  this is what I wrote in processing the message...

¨He (the man rock climbing) isn´t worried about falling. He isn´t worried about the wind or time; with his hands gripped tightly in the grooves of the rock (the side of our Saviour) and his eyes scouring the face of the rock for the next hand hold (as we look intently into the face of our Saviour to know Him and be like him). There is no fear, just trust and concentration. The Rock won´t fall. The Cliff doesn´t budge. God stays the same and we must cling to Him. We must trust and climb. He is GOD! When we climb- may we climb high. Not fearing the ground beneath us. If we jump, may we spread out our arms, a goofy smile plastered on our faces in exhilaration of freefalling. Completley trusting in His love. Spinning circles - arms weightless, sun-kissed face up towards the blue sky. Embracing our Lord. Dancing with our Saviour. Following His lead as He spins us so delicately and tenderly on the dancefloor of green grass that He created. Walking barefoot on the pearl laden beach and feeling the rushing power of the waves. I am. I am the rock. Run to the cliff, cling on to Me for your life. Dance with me. Laugh with me. Run with Me. Play. Sing. Grow. Jump. Live with me. Dare to dream. I will carry you. Do you trust me? Soar with me. I can show you the world but do you trust me enough to get on the magic carpet? Do you hear Him? 

Lautaro, Chile [new home]

Pretty, huh? Yeah, thats where I'm living for the next couple months! Lautaro, Chile located about 8 hours south of Santiago. I am focusing on the children's ministry here and excited to see what the Lord has in store for me. I had visited many times before and really love the south of Chile. My first Chilean friends are from here so it really has a special place in my heart. I was invited by the Pastor to come and work for my last three months of my two year commmitment and honestly I didn't give it much thought. I wanted to but my heart screamed "NO!"
Why? Oh, well I had quite a few reasons - but all selfish. Its so hard for me to say goodbye - and when I went back to Santiago on the bus everyone went to say goodbye - and ugh, it hurt. Now I was being invited to deepen those relationships just to leave in a few short months... seems like torture! Well, I took my hurting and confused heart and gave it to the Lord. "God, I don't know why - but if you want me there, I am willing to follow, even though I don't understand." So, here I am. Falling more in love with Chileans here in the south and wondering what God has for me in this time. I try to remind myself daily to open my heart and give freely, not guarding or putting up a wall to protect myself. I am at a cross-roads in my life. Where would God have me go? Come back here to Lautaro (it seems as if everyday someone says to come back) or on to other places. Please join me in praying that God will give clear direction on where He wants me to go.

Japan.

Japan -  March 11, 2011

Chile February 27, 2010 

Fall 2009. . .

Her eyes are brimming with tears and she raises her gaze to mine. Slowly she begins to speak as emotion shakes her voice: 

"So you believe that my family, Japan, all of Asia.... if they die, they're going to hell?"

The words stung and sank deep into my stomach. I felt pierced as I saw the pain in her eyes. The Japanese international student, who'd become a dear friend of mine, put the truth in a blunt way that I'd never been capable of doing. The raw truth of the desperate need of Jesus' disciples in the world had never been said so bluntly and simply. And then came the earthquake.

Her words echoed piercingly, a resounding truth in my ears as the media came pouring in about this tragedy. 

"My family. Japan. All of Asia . . . will go to hell?" 

My breathing slowed, stomach churning as I looked down in shame. . . "Yes." 

Now, thousands of bodies line the shores of Japan result of the tsunami. Empty vessels where souls a few days ago resided, and where have those souls gone? 

The face of the earth is heaving with souls who do not know Jesus. Must God allow for natural disasters to wake His sleeping bride? Must the oceans crash around us? Must the needy scream in our ears for help? 

I was sleeping. Too busy in my everyday routine to remember the great need. Far back in my mind were those sad, griping, and desperately hopeless words of a young Japanese girl.

Awake, bride of Christ! Tell of the love of your groom - for "you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

Update Jan 2011

“This is how we know that we love the children of God:

by loving God and carrying out his commands.  In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome . ..” 1 John 5:2-3

Happy New Year!  God is good; isn’t He? For many 2010 was a difficult year, full of trails, pain, and tears. Jesus holds us up with His right hand and carries us through those hard times. He has carried us into 2011.  Another year, a fresh start, a new challenge. **

I look back on 2010 and think about the things God has blessed me with because of His great love. Starting with friends that have gone on to work in the muslim world. I was blessed to be part of their lives and now some are living for Him in Morocco, Egypt, and Afghanistan. While others continue preparing to go to Egypt, Sierra Leon, Iran, and Iraq.  Their love for the lost is infectious and continues to bring me to my knees. Its all about love isn’t it?

House of Hope was a great place to get my love stretched and matured! Oh, those cute, little faces!!  How they have tried my patience, taught me to love, and made me laugh. They have grabbed my heart and I feel their grip tightening everyday. A smile the size of Texas spreads across my face when Pati (5 years old) receives me with a hug and kiss: “AMIGA!!” (“Friend!!”). Please join me in praying for their futures and that they will come to embrace the Jesus they have met in HOH.

There are countless other blessings that He has bestowed, and I’ve shed many tears, but I realize that this all pushes me into a closer relationship with my Savior. He has blessed me with friends, mentors, a church family, and with trails—so that my joy may be complete. I look forward and wonder expectantly what I will learn about my Jesus, and all that He has in store for me. Where will He take me in this year? Please join me in praying for wisdom and obedience and God leads me in this New Year. Thank you for being a part of my life and my team! You are a blessing beyond measure. May God continue to bless and grow each one of you! Don’t forget to email! Love to you all!! 

rachelnevill88@gmail.com

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